soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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