dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
