i always forget guys have bellybuttons
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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