bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
