I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
