Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
