I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
