too bad you live with your parents still
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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