I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
