just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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