Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
