so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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