Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
