flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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