My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
