laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
