You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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