so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize