Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
