She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize