Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
