people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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