i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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