I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
