Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize