Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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