We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
