like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
