My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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