Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize