I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
