we made out on top of his cat.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We just shotgunned beers for America
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You are the jesus of drinking
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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