Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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