Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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