sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
