I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
