He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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