Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think my fart just growled at me.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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