He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
