omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
