You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
