Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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