Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
