Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
