So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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