Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
