if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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