so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
