is your mom at the bar?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize