Just cropdusted the office
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
