Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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