I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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