Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
