I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
