the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
