I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
