woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
