We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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