If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How drunk are you?
Completed.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
