I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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