i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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