She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just want nice things and good sex
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
