Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
