You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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