The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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