Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
