Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
