Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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