so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
