You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
and she was petting her beer can
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
