I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize