I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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