Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
