Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
