He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
