Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
we're so committed to being not committed
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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