is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
