Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
