he shaved USA in his pubs
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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