Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
