Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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