yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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