you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
