I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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