I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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